42114) I’m getting better, but only just.
confessionsabouteatingdisorders:
I gain weight, then freak out and start restricting again. I want to stop thinking about food, to stop planning meals in advance, to stop counting calories and just eat like a normal person. I want to get rid of the sick pride I take in an empty stomach. Get rid of the sick feeling of pleasure I feel when I eat less than my friends. I want to feel in control again.
its time
feel so uncomfortable knowing that they would be reading my posts….
changed my url becos my friends found out. have no freaking idea HOW they managed to. but anyway, they shouldnt have.
forcing myself to eat more everyday without guilt.
its hard but im definitely trying. sad thing is. nobody thinks that way. the fact that they see me STILL so skinny drives them to think that im still starving myself.
W.T.F.
if so, why should i even try right.
stupid annoying people that want to see immediate results GO AND DIE.
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Me:
you eat too much lately
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Me:
actually no, you don't
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Me:
but you're never actually hungry
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Me:
your stomach is too small to feel hungry all the time
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Me:
you just need to chill with all the food
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Me:
NO. YOU HAVE TO EAT.
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Every day battles with myself. I mean really...
41414) I really don’t care if my friends find out about my eating disorder. They probably already know I have a problem. It’s not like they’re going to do anything to help me. It’s not like they care.
i can only help myself in this stupid shitz. (Source: confessionsabouteatingdisorders, via hidethepainandfakeasmile)
40310) I made my mother cry for the first time. She lost it and started yelling at me and telling me that after I die, it would be too late to regret starving myself. I’m sorry, mom. Eating x% of a normal person’s diet is not my choice. I can’t help it. And the fact that everyone’s commenting on my weight loss drives me to starve myself even more. It’s getting out of hand. Someone help me.
omg. happens EVERYDAY. TT_____TT (Source: confessionsabouteatingdisorders)
40319) I want to have a baby, but I dont think I’ll ever be able to because I’m too afraid of gaining the weight.
(Source: confessionsabouteatingdisorders)
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